Thursday, August 14, 2008

On being a mother..

It's been amazing to watch our Mama cat have kittens and then take care of them so instinctively.  At the first sign of distress, she jumps into her little birthing box to take count of her kittens and make sure that they are all ok.  Usually, she just plops down for them to nurse because they are screaming for milk.  It is so wild to watch that motherly instinct take over.   She just rolls over, like, "have at it kids".   She really has this joyful aura about her.  She rarely leaves the box, but more and more she's been venturing out into the house to just lay around on the tile.   How am I ever going to find new homes for them?  I honestly want to keep them all.  I wonder, do we keep the first born?  He's the most mellow little guy (I've been calling him Biggie Smalls because he's the biggest of the litter).  Do I keep little "Stucky"?  Afterall, I pulled him from the clutches of death and I feel like I have a bond with this little fella.  Then there are the beautiful tiger striped kittens.  They are just so beautiful and different looking from Yoshi.  One is the runt of the litter and the other, in my opinion, is the most beautiful.  So, do we keep the runt?  Or the cutest one?  ugghh....I hate this.  Earlier, I pulled all the kittens out one by one to weigh them and Yoshi was meowing at me and really showing signs of a worried mommy and it was just so amazing.  I would put the babies right back onto her to show her that they were ok and she'd relax, lick them, bop them around a little bit, and then pull them into her.  Really and truly just an amazing thing to watch.  However, in the middle of the night she decided to move them under our bed.  ACK!

Being a protective, joyful mother - a perfect segue into the adoption of our little Laela Jade Christine.  It was *SO* incredibly uneventful.   It wasn't even a real judge!  It was a subordinate judge that was given power this week because the "real" judge was on vacation or something.  It was pretty funny.  He asked everybody to introduce themselves (Grandpa, Grandma, Elba, Hector, Shaye, and Naia).  Caroline and I never did sit down.  In fact, we just sauntered up to the bench and signed all the court docs right there on his "desk" (his bench? You know, the place where the judge sits.)  Then he said something like, "I now declare that Laela Jade Christine is yours forever from this day forth just as if she were born to you" or something like that.  It almost felt like we got married!!  It was awesome to hear those words and have it be all legal and official.  I didn't cry (ok, a teeny little tear formed in my eye), but I was so over the moon happy to have this behind us.  She is ours forever, but she has been ours since she was a 6 week old fetus growing in Lisa's belly and we found out about her.  My little Baby January is now home safely FOREVER with her Mama and Mommy and two loving sisters.  Those months of not knowing what would happen to her wondering if birthdad would fight us for her after having her in our home for months were terrifying.  But tonight, I can go to sleep looking at my little love knowing that she is *MY* daughter and nobody will ever be able to take that away from me.  

And Caroline and I are celebrating tonight with our $110 bottle of Silver Oak wine (which is very yummy, but I'm just as happy with the $12 bottle of Jacob's Creek).  We are so thankful and lucky to have these children.  I can't imagine ever becoming a mom any other way.  Thank you 4 years of unsuccessful IVF and to the universe for guiding us to our children.  Thank you Sacramento County foster/adoptions for making my deepest wishes come true!

If my camera will cooperate, I'll post some pics later.


Courtney & Jason said...

Yay this is so wonderful. I cannot wait to see pictures!!!!!

Sara said...

That was beautiful, Maddy. Thanks for sharing your life with us! :)