Sunday, April 26, 2009

Anthony Michael

New baby birth brother Anthony

New baby birth brother Anthony

How can my heart not ache for him?

We had a great visit with Lisa today and baby Anthony is precious (HUGE nose, but precious. Heh.) Lisa truly is an amazing woman despite her past history with her pregnancies and birth children. She has stopped smoking, is clean, and Anthony's dad seems to be a hard worker and is love with his new son. It's hard, but seeing the situation with my own eyes gives me a little hope. Everything is in order and she has the things she needs for a baby. She was attentive, however out of the 4 hours we were there I think I held him 3 hours and 45 min. She changed his diaper and made him a bottle and she actually looked like she knew what she was doing. Her neice is there with her and they are getting a lot of help from family members, so I can only hope that this baby is on the path he was meant to be on.

But I did whisper in his ear that I wish he was mine.

New baby birth brother Anthony

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I'm so incredibly sad tonight

Shaye and Laela's birthmom gave birth to a little boy yesterday (April 10) at 9:27am. 7 lbs. 7 oz. They have named him Anthony Michael. I believe Laela was born at 9:27 in the a.m., so how weird is that? We have known about the pregnancy since last summer and we are about 98% sure that our decision to adopt this child was not going to happen. Because of that, I haven't really given it that deep, soul searching kind of thought. Now that he's here, I have just been crying since we found out at noon today. How can we not adopt this child? But honestly, how can we? How is it possible to be sane with 4 children 4 years old and under? My heart is speaking "bring him to us". My head is telling me to hope for the best for the baby that he gets placed into a loving home.

The saddest part is that it sounds as if the baby may possibly go home with mom and dad (dad was at the birth, has been there since, and Caroline said he actually sounds like a nice guy). Dad kept thanking us for calling and C said he sounded really happy. We know that CPS is investigating right now, but I am really scared that this little boy will get lost in the system. All it takes is for them to do a couple of home visits, determine it's ok, and that's life.

I'm just sad. Sad for my family. Sad for my children. Sad for this baby. Sad for myself. Sad. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

OMG WE'RE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got the call this afternoon that Shaye will be starting her kindy year at a local Montessori charter school that goes K-8!! I am BEYOND stoked about this. We applied at 2 campuses and the one she got picked for is really awesome and I am very happy about it!!!! Oh, man...I am so RELIEVED!! Naia and Laela will also get to go there since they have sib priority. Can I tell everybody what a huge relief it is knowing that your education hopes and dreams for your child is coming to fruition? WHEW! Oh, I pray this is the right decision. It feels right. :)

Naia will stay in our private Montessori preschool until she starts kindy. And we may enroll Laela this August in pre-school, but she won't be going to kindy until 2012, so we may wait for awhile to enroll her.

GAHHHH!! I'm so excited I can barely stand it!